On Becoming A Sensation…

Remember how I said in my first post that I’d rather be in bed than a bar?

Guess what I did on St. Patrick’s Day?  I went to what seemed to be every bar in Richmond and handed out condoms to drunks.

It was part of the “Getting Lucky?” initiative at the Heart of Richmond AIDS Society where I volunteer.  Let’s be safe, people!  But can I just share with you that this had to be one of the more awkward situations of my life?  There’s nothing like crashing someone’s dinner and handing out prophylactics.  Presumptuous, don’t you think?  “You look like you might be getting some tonight!  Here!  I am praying you’re not related!”  Conversely, if I DON’T give them to someone, what does that say?  “Your shirt is birth control enough, Sparky.  But here’s a rubber glove, if you still want to be safe!”  Fraught with peril, that night was.

But, I have been receiving confirmation without condoms myself, lately.  I snagged the volunteer position I was hoping for, Keep A Breast Canada is still looking to have me help them with events (yay!), and I’ve been offered a job (repeatedly) that I cannot accept.  Makes one almost bouncy.  But the oddest confirmation came from a place I was not expecting it…

Yesterday, I attended a professional development breakfast put on by the American Fundraising Professionals group here.  It’s about telling stories to motivate both your staff and donor base.  Sounds like something I could use for my future grown-up job, so I dragged myself out of bed at 5:15, put on a pretty dress, and off I went.

We were tasked to tell a story about how we have used a story to motivate staff and/or fund raising.

Yeah, the thing about that…

I’ve never done fundraising like they’re talking about.  What on earth do I say?  How do I not sound like a fool?

I am the last in my group of four to tell my story.  So I relate the tale about my first management job, and the issues that it brought.  Sort of an anti-motivational, if you will.  At one point during my narrative, I noticed they were all leaning forward.  They laughed at my jokes.  They were nodding.

Biscuits and gravy, Bristow.  I thought to myself.  You have UNDIVIDED ATTENTION.  Why doesn’t this work on your children?!  Wait, what?  Why are they looking at me?  Do they want me to feed them or take them to the park?


When the facilitator came around, she asked who among us had the best story.  Three fingers pointed my direction.

Aw, thanks, y’all.

But I pointed out that my story was only within shouting distance of being on topic, and nominated the lovely lady from the Red Cross who invoked a mental image that gave me baby goosebumps.

I left and went home to put on jeans and go grocery shopping.  Talk about your paradigm shifts.  But instances like these are reinforcing my decision in little ways.  I really feel like this is what I am best suited for.  Having others validate this through offers of employment or requests for help is just…I don’t have the word.  It kind of feels like being internally carbonated.  It’s a physical sensation I get when something is just going RIGHT.  I’ve got that feeling, and it’s freaking fantastic.

Please, no one shake me.  I may explode.


Paging The Pursuit of Happiness…

I’m an adult now.

There’s really no escaping this fact.  I’d rather be in bed than a bar.  Stuff I used to listen to in high school is now being considered “old school”.  I detect the tip-toeing of crow’s feet.  And the weird small people in my house keep calling me “Mama” and expect me to feed them.

I shouldn’t bash the weird small people, though.  If I hadn’t had them, I wouldn’t have had the time to ponder my now-misshapen navel and figure out what I wanted to be now that I’m grown up.  As it stands now, if I manage to pass Financial Management, I will be finished with my Nonprofit Management program and I can finally begin work.

Yeah, the thing about that…

I may have gone a little nuts.  I know, so unlike me.  I figured my school was going to be over, Bren would be starting preschool, and I could just take on contract projects here and there.    But no.  I had to jump in the deep end without my floaties because I am a colossal dumb ass who has to prove her worth to the world.  The world, however, does not care.  I know this.  But does it stop me?  Of course not.

I’ve got myself signed up for an additional course come April.  So that’s three total.  I also somehow figured that this would be the PERFECT time to become fluent in ASL.  I ordered DVDs that I can learn from, when they’re not sitting unused, giving me the slacker stink eye.  I volunteer, so there are upcoming events that I am going to be a part of.  Is this one group?  No!  Three!  Join ALL the charities!  Plan ALL the events!  Drink ALL the Red Bull!  (Which sadly, Brendan points out to me in grocery stores and tells me I’m out of my favorite drink.  But I’ve been off it for months!)

The boys’ birthdays are coming up.  Liam’s in a couple of weeks, and I’ve had that all planned for a while.  He wants a Titanic-themed birthday, so I was glad to oblige.  We are going on a ferry to Vancouver Island, so I hope not to carry the theme too far, if you know what I mean.  So Liam’s cake will be in the shape of an iceberg, because I figured that would be somehow easier than making an ocean liner.  Bren wants a pirate birthday, which will be easy to swing.  Part of me wonders if I just couldn’t combine the two and throw a Pirates on the Titanic theme, but that’s just not cool.

Incidentally, did you know that the process of an iceberg falling off the larger ice face is called calving?  Now you do.  If they ask me that on my upcoming Jeopardy test, I’ll be freaking ecstatic.

Part of the reason I’m writing this blog is to help keep myself accountable.  I could cheerfully spend the entire day in my PJs, reading Damn You Auto Correct and eating yogurt.  But I can’t.  I’m an adult.  I have to get off my rear and get things done.  I got one paper closer to being school being completed today, and I’ve got to keep the momentum going.  So I am going to chart my progress on here.  Odd little observations, frustrations, good news, setbacks, it’s all going up.  No filtering, but that’s to be expected.  If you want polite, I’m sorry, you’re in the wrong place.  Now GTFO.

I hope you enjoyed our maiden voyage here.  It’s better than the Titanic’s, after all.